Friday Fun

sciroccorrado

A2OC Donor

How Men Amuse themselves in Tescos...

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Aberdeen:

Dear Mrs. Wyse,
Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Aberdeen is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7:
Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares...... and watched what happened.

5. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15:
Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23:
When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8.. October 4:
Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. October 10:
While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. November 3:
Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

11.November 6:
In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. November 18:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. November 21:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

*And; last, but not least:*
14. November 23:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here

 

sciroccorrado

A2OC Donor
I think this is even funnier than that Jeremy

Give it a read :)

Good old FAKE NEWS🤣


If it was true I’d have 3 A2’s to fill up with shell Nitro 99 octane🤣
Slightly different in a number of ways Louis,

1. The mirror think was FAKE NEWS - merely click bait
2. It came from the Mirror website, I would NOT be going anywhere near this site!
3. Being click bait there will be victims of this scam ... (Okay, I admit some of the rats might not like driving around, but I think they're not really victims)...
 

sciroccorrado

A2OC Donor
Thinking of the welsh trip - one for our friends there...

There were these two English chaps having lunch in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

They approached the waitress and said that they were having trouble pronouncing where they were and asked her to say it realy slowly for them
















She answered B - U - R - G - E - R - K - I - N - G
 

sciroccorrado

A2OC Donor
1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or £80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2019
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of £20.
- What do you think of this way of making a living?
- Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers. )
 

Vantagemech

Member
1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or £80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2019
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of £20.
- What do you think of this way of making a living?
- Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers. )
Missed out the multiple guess era, would the answer be a) £0 b) £20 c) £100
 

sciroccorrado

A2OC Donor
An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote, “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”

I'm here all day :)
 

sciroccorrado

A2OC Donor
Default


"Formed in 1977 in Coventry, England, they are an English 2 Tone ska revival band whose music combines a steady rock beat with punk attitude. Jerry Dammers and his bandmates achieved fame and notoriety with classics like 'Ghost Town' and 'Too Much Too Young".

"Well, that's true", I said to the waiter. "But it's not what I meant when I asked you to tell me about the specials".[/QUOTE]


 

sciroccorrado

A2OC Donor
My neighbour had a bad time this morning. She took in what looked like a homeless man last night as he looked frozen. This morning when she got up he had left..peed all over the floor and left his hat and scarf behind.
She said he was stocky built with two black eyes and a carrot shaped nose.
Careful who you take in this Christmas.
 
1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or £80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2019
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of £20.
- What do you think of this way of making a living?
- Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers. )
6. Teaching Maths in Febuary 2020
A logger has surplus stock to sell, will he be able to sell his surplus to the United Kingdom as it does not have a trade arrangement with his country, will he be able to trade under WTO agreements or will he have to agree an arrangement with the EU during "Transition"
-There are multi answers for this question, consult poltitical party manifesto's for a suitable/applicable answer, please show your source which may include social media/rumour.
 

Vantagemech

Member
6. Teaching Maths in Febuary 2020
A logger has surplus stock to sell, will he be able to sell his surplus to the United Kingdom as it does not have a trade arrangement with his country, will he be able to trade under WTO agreements or will he have to agree an arrangement with the EU during "Transition"
-There are multi answers for this question, consult poltitical party manifesto's for a suitable/applicable answer, please show your source which may include social media/rumour.
Note: If your answer does not include " we should not have left" you will get marked down, or if your reply is "burn it". In these instances every teacher in the school will scowl at you and then show you an image of that precocious Thunberg child as they frogmarch you off the premises.....
 
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